Given the current climate in the United States, I risk being called naïve for even daring to ask what has happened to civil discourse.
That said, I’ll jump right in and make a case that we all need to think about where we are going as a country and if we can salvage a broken democracy by restoring some civility toward each other.
I’ll spare you my political beliefs because, honestly, you don’t care about them. Whether I am for or against a person or issue might prompt you to cheer or condemn me, but it does nothing to address the root causes of the issues that have led to the widening chasm in our country.
Frankly, this chasm has existed for as long as we have been a country. The two-party system, by its nature, thrives on the extremes. Just study history and you will find numerous examples of politicians, media and assorted characters stirring up trouble, spreading fake news and encouraging violent rebellion.
What’s happened in recent years is an extension of that historic behavior and, curiously, one of the hallmarks of our democracy. We instill in our youth that the freedoms of speech, assembly and peaceful protests are a constitutional right. It seems we disagree on the extent to which these freedoms are acceptable, such as burning down stores, laying siege to a federal building or chanting death to law enforcement and elected officials.
Recent events have polarized us even more. I’ve openly shared my anger about the situation and friends and acquaintances have weighed in with impassioned opinions representing varying perspectives.
Some friends, who I admire, have employed a scorched earth approach and have declared they will unfriend anyone who dares to disagree with them. In other words, if you voted for or think Trump did some good things in the last four years, you’re toast. No more friendship. It cuts both ways, as people on the right are just as angry and frustrated with people who support Biden. Rarely do I see or hear a civil exchange about either candidate or the beliefs they espouse.
Now, by this point, my friends who marched in the Black Lives Matter protests or took part in pro-Trump rallies and protests are itching to call me out. “Civil discourse is not possible,” they will scream. “The time for talking is past. No one listened then and no one will listen now. It’s war.”
Maybe they’re right. Maybe we need to allow ourselves to accept the depravity of violence, intolerance and intransigence and wage an all-out war on each other. If talking doesn’t work, surely violence and hateful rhetoric will further the causes.
Sometimes, it’s therapeutic to vent, to show your emotions and let others know how you feel. But there should be a limit to how much we rely on that approach to dictate how we resolve our differences. Talking is one element. Listening is the other and, arguably, the most important.
Civil discourse relies on a balance of talking/sharing and listening/absorbing what people have to say. It’s not all cuddly and kind. It’s brutally honest dialogue that is necessary for the process of repairing our country to begin.
Today, people on the right like to focus on the violence that occurred at the BLM protests. Rarely do they acknowledge that the vast majority of protestors did so peacefully and aired legitimate concerns about systemic racism. People on the left like to lump all Republicans and anyone with conservative leanings with the far-right extremists who are racist.
The polarization is glaring, and the chasm widens with each day.
So, what are we to do about it? Talking isn’t working. Listening is nonexistent.
Maybe we need to step back and look at how we are treating each other. I’ll be brutally honest with my friends on the right and left. You’re all pretty damn petty. I include myself in this assessment because it’s been easy to lob insults and threats at each other. The pettiness in the arguments, posts and forums borders on the comical as people try to one-up each other.
To what end? I really don’t know. Casting aside friends and family because of what’s happened in recent years might sound impressive, but it does nothing but give our bruised egos a boost. If we insulate ourselves from those who disagree and anger us we hurt our chances of narrowing the divide. We effectively shut off the opportunity for civil discourse.
Sadly, I expect this plea to fall on deaf ears. As I stated in the beginning, I will be accused of being naïve. Fine.
While this doesn’t change the fact that I am royally pissed off, it does change the fact that the only way I can positively effect change is to encourage civil discourse. Someone has to do it.
To learn more about civil discourse in our country, I recommend reading this article from 2013:
https://www.marshall.edu/academic-affairs/files/A-Plea-for-Civil-Discourse.pdf
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